 |
| On her front porch, Granny with the neighborhood kids and me, 2011 |
I fully expected this post to be about my recent phenomenal trip to the Khama Rhino Sanctuary. I even had a name, title all picked out - Karla Karma in Khama - but something happened, something so....so devastating, that well, it superseded everything. My host mom, the incomparable Nonhlanhla Winifred Chibana, passed away.
On my second day in Botswana, I met this incredible woman, who barely came up to my shoulder. She embraced me, took me into her home for two months and became my family. Although I am a very vocal and non-apologetic atheist and declined her first (and only) invitation to attend church, I did so my last Sunday in her home. That is a testament to how much I had come to love, respect and admire my Ma Chibana. She went to a Pentecostal Church, called Holy Rollers in my youth, and it was equal parts nostalgic, fascinating and excruciating. She was so considerate and sensitive that when they started laying on of hands, moving through the congregation, she saw my panic and gave me the keys to her car and told me to wait there. I almost ran out of the church.
She often had the neighboring children in, feeding them, helping with their homework and being a sanctuary. She took in relatives and treated her housekeeper, Popi, like family. She volunteered, took neglectful parents to task and had no problem telling the police and others what they should be doing. I loved her.
About two weeks before her passing, I had a sadly short visit with her. She had been in the hospital in SA, trying to get to the root of her symptoms. They sent her home without a diagnosis and a cat scan scheduled for November. While there, Ma Chibana's car was stolen from the hospital's parking lot! She was still feeling poorly and now, pretty much stuck at home. She celebrated her 74th birthday and sadden me by saying my per functionary SMS was the only recognition of the day she got.
On Friday, the day before she died, I sent her, and others, a text about what a great time I was having at the Rhino Reserve. She texted me back:
Ma Chibana: Are you on holiday
Me: Yes. At Rhino Reserve. How r u?
Ma: Im much better thanx except for fatigue popi has severe headache
Me: How long has she (Popi) been ill?
Ma: Since this a.m. but she only told me this evening
Me: O so sorry. U 2 r having such a hard time. Is n e one helping u?
Ma: All will be well
Me: (smiley face)
She passed in her sleep that night.
 |
| Ma Chibana (in the middle) tt my swearing in |
 |
| Swearing in in the outfit she insisted on having made for me. I wore it yesterday to her funeral. |
 |
| Granny with Popi and Abbey |
Although I have adamantly said I will not attend a funeral here in Botswana (I haven't attended one in the States in more than a decade), I went to Ma Chibana's yesterday. I passed on the church service that started at 6 a.m. (and missed the slide show that included a pic of me with her), I made it to the gathering, viewing at her home, my former home, in Kanye. I did it because she would have wanted me to. It would have been a source of pride for her to have me attend, wearing the outfit she had made for me, following all the correct protocol. She deserved that and so much more. I will miss you, Granny, my
Ma Chibana
 |
| Ma Chibana and Me |
